Book Notes: How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds or Less

Book Notes: How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds or Less

Book Notes: How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds or Less

how to make people like you in 90 seconds or less

KFC is the keys to effective communication

1) Know what you want
2) Feedback – get it
3) Change what you do until you get what you want

Establish Rapport

You have less than 90 seconds to make a favorable impression. There are techniques that you can use to encourage rapport.

1) Subtly mirror the body language of the other person. This includes: gestures, posture, head tilts, facial expressions, and breathing. Pretend there is a mirror between you and the other person and be their reflection
2) Go first: bring energy to the interaction. Be cheerful, interested, warm, and engaging
3) Think about the attitude you want to project
4) Keep your body language open. Make sure your body language is open to the other person. Open your hands towards them, uncross your arms, maintain a genuine smile, point your heart at them, raise your eyebrows to show interest.

Communication essentials

Communication is: 55% visual, 38% vocal / tonality, and 7% is the actual words that you say , verbal. All 3 parts need to be congruent. Synchronize your communication to match the other person’s style. People are most comfortable with others who are like them. Do this by matching their body language, voice tonality, volume, speed, pitch, rhythm, and repeat words they use.

Ask Questions


Use open ended questions
Introduce yourself by making a location or occasion statement and follow it with an open ended question.

Build commonality by finding common interests, goals, and experiences. Use specific imagery to make the conversation easy to follow.

Accept compliments simply and graciously by saying thank you.

Actively Listen

Listen and give genuine feedback.

Sensory Preferences

Understand the person’s sensory preference and feed it. People have different sensory preferences that fall into 3 categories:
Visual – prefers to see things with their eyes
Auditory – prefers information through sound
Kinesthetics – prefers information through movement and body language

Group Hug

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